


Fall Apart

by NamelessAngel



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Beach Day, Cheating, Crying, F/M, Happy Family, Infidelity, Kid Fic, Mentions of Child Loss, Not so happy, Oneshot, Open Ending, Sad, Sorry Not Sorry, Writing Exercise, a pretty pink seashell, beach, daddy!Bucky, mommy!darcy, not the happiest ending, supportive!jane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 06:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16320473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelessAngel/pseuds/NamelessAngel
Summary: James and Darcy have a fun family day at their beach with their son. When a text message brings Bucky's infidelity to light, Darcy doesn't want the impact to ruin her son's beach day. This is the fallout.





	Fall Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, y'all! 
> 
> I had a prompt in my Creative Writing class last week to do a piece with //a husband, wife, and their child at the beach. The husband or wife is revealed to be cheating/having an affair. Have the parents discuss it while trying to keep it private in the public space. Also trying to not involve the child.\\\ I combined that with today's prompt of //Dialogue: A Verbal Dance\\\ to finish it.
> 
> This is my take on the two exercises. It's angsty and the ending is left vaguely open. 
> 
> Standard Disclaimer: I do not own nor am I affiliated with anything Marvel. The characters are not mine (except Jeremiah), only the plot.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Barnes watches as Darcy played in the waves with their son, Jeremiah. The smiles on their faces and the shrieking laughter brought a smile to his face.

His phone chimed with an alert. Glancing at it, he saw it was the Avengers & co. non-emergency group chat. He elected to ignore it, knowing that if there was a mission then either Steve or Coulson would call.

Standing up, he stretched out his stuff muscles before lazily making his way towards his giggling family. Rushing the rest of the way forwards, he scooped up his son and fell backwards into the next wave, surfacing with a laughing six-year-old hugged tight to his chest. Looking to his wife, he saw a content smile on her face and her cheeks flushed red from the heat of the bright sun.

“You’re looking a little red, doll,” he said, “let’s go put some more sunblock on you two ghosts!” he snatched Jeremiah up out of the next wave and reached over to grab Darcy’s hand, earning him a soft kiss on the cheek.

“Well, we can’t all be as gloriously tan as you, babe,” she said with a wink.

While Bucky tackled the daunting task of putting sunscreen on a squirming six-year-old, Darcy pulled out her phone and went through all the messages that had come through in the group chat.

Noticing a frown making its way onto her face, Bucky set Jeremiah up with his sand toys before going to see what was upsetting his wife.

He sank down next to her on the blanket, reaching to pull her into his side but she leaned away, looking at him with hurt swimming in her deep blue eyes.

Sucking in a terrified breath, he asked softly, “what happened, doll?”

Reaching into the bag next to her she pulled out his phone and tossed it to him.

“Check the group chat, James,” she muttered lowly, so as not to be overheard from Jeremiah.

Scrolling through the messages, he froze upon seeing the one that began the latest influx of messages. It was a picture. A picture of him, naked in a bed that was not the one he shared with his wife. A pair of pale, toned thighs straddled his hips in the frame with a shock of red hair spilling into the upper corner of the shot. His hands fisted in the sheets with a white knuckled grip, his face tipped back in pleasure. It was tagged with Natasha’s message: _Thinking about last weekend, hurry back._

Bucky wanted to deny it. He wanted to remove the pain he could see swimming in Darcy’s eyes. But he didn’t know what to say. If it was anyone other than Nat he would say it was an accident. That she had sent it to the wrong chat. But it _was_ Natasha. And she didn’t make simple mistakes.

With a shuddering breath he looked up at Darcy and saw her eyes shining with unshed tears. He reached out to take her hand but she pulled away again.

“How long?” she spat quietly through clenched teeth.

“Doll—”

“How _long,_ James?” Her anger was palpable, her hurt even more so.

“Since Annie,” he whispered, looking at the sand in front of their feet. He knew it was shameful but it was the truth. And he owed her that much, even if he could feel his heart breaking at the realization in her crying eyes.

“Since—” she choked in a breath, “since _Annie_?!”

Rage and sadness warred on her face before she mentally threw up her walls and forced a blank expression onto her face.

“Darcy…” his voice was strained, “Doll, I’m sorry. I never wanted it to be like this.”

“And you think _I_ did?” she spat, “How did you want it to _be,_ James?”

Running a hand through his hair, he sighed, “I don’t know… I wanted to end it with her but every time I tried she found a way to pull me back in. And I _knew,_ ” he looked at the sand again, unwilling to meet her eyes, “that it would hurt you if you ever found out,” he shuddered a breath, “and I’m so _sorry._ ”

“Then why did you do it?” she asked, and she saw when the question cut him to the core.

He shook his head sharply, not wanting to tell her the truth of it.

“ _Why,_ James?” she punched the sand by her hip, “gods damnit, you fucking owe me that.”

His shoulders hunched, curling in on himself as if to protect against the hurt he knew would appear in her eyes.

“Because she was there,” he saw the crack form in the shields she had thrown up moments earlier, “And she didn’t constantly remind me of what we’d lost.”

He saw the moment her walls crumpled, and the tears silently poured down her cheeks.

She stood, dusting the sand off and motioning at him to stay where he was when he moved to stand as well. She made to move towards the water but turned back at the last minute, “you were supposed to be there for me, James. I couldn’t look at _myself_ without remembering what I’d lost,” her shoulders shook in a quiet sob, “And I was _alone._ No you, no Jane, no anybody. And I didn’t even have the luxury of falling apart because someone had to be there for our _son,_ ” she closed her eyes clenched her fists down at her side.

He stood, tears making silent tracks down his own cheeks as he reached for her, pulling her into his chest and murmuring in her ear how fucking sorry he was. How he knew he fucked up and that he would do whatever it took to make it right again. He would do whatever she wanted him to do, so long as she just didn’t _leave._

She pulled back, wiping her eyes before glancing to where their son still sat playing in the sand, oblivious to the tension between his parents.

“I think,” she shuddered out a breath, “I think you should take Jeremiah home,: she stepped away from her husband, “I’ll call Jane and get a ride with her.”

“Doll—”

“ _No._ James, I _can’t,_ ” she gestured at her head with her hands, “Right now my head is going too fast and I can’t keep up and—” she gasped for air, clutching her left hand in her wavy hair, “—and I need a chance to fall apart,” she whispered.

He felt his heart crumple in pieces at his feet with that one little sentence. And he realized that what he had done with Natasha wasn’t just fucked up, it was selfish in the worst kind of way. He’d practically abandoned her, and by default their son, when she needed him most. But instead of stepping up and taking care of the family he still had, he ran and hid between Nat’s thighs. Burying his pain in temporary pleasure. He’d left Darcy to deal with the pain of losing their baby on her own, and now he had added to her pain by revealing his transgressions against her.

He had gotten to fall apart. He had gotten to cry and scream and curse and grieve. And now, he realized, she _hadn’t_. And it was time she took her time to mourn fully. It was her turn to fall apart.

“You’re right,” he whispered, resting his fingers on her elbows, “it’s your turn. I’ll call Jane and we’ll leave as soon as I see you off with her,” he tugged her chin up so he could meet her eyes, “but I’ll be waiting for you to get back, Darcy. I won’t leave you again,” he shuddered out a breath, “not unless you tell me to go.”

She stuttered out a breath, fresh tears falling silently down her cheeks.

He pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, leaning down to kiss her forehead, “I love you, Darcy May,” he pulled back, “And I am so fucking sorry, it hurts.” He reached down and squeezed her hand in his before going to call Jane.

\-----------------

Darcy walked down towards the water, thoughts burning and twisting faster than she could keep up with. She was hurt, and she was grieving, but things had slowly been getting better recently. James had been around more and more, and she had thought they were starting to heal _together._

This revelation had blindsided her. It was like ripping off a band-aid and having the scab come with it, reopening the wound and the pain. It was like it was all fresh again. The loss, the pain, the uncertainty.

She felt a small hand tug on her own and forced a small smile onto her face as she looked down at her son, holding up a small pink shell.

“Pretty like you, momma!” he smiled blindingly up at her.

Squatting down in front of him she took the shell from him, cooing over its intricate but soft beauty. She pulled him into a hug, kissing the top of his head.

“How would you like to have a guys weekend with Daddy? Hmm?” she asked, pulling back to look at him.

His eyes lit up with excitement, it had been a long time since they had had a guy’s weekend. Back before she had lost the baby.

“Are you gonna have a girl’s weekend with Auntie Jane?” he asked.

“Yeah, little bug,” she grinned at him, “Momma’s gonna go to Auntie Jane’s and we’re gonna watch all the girly movies and braid Uncle Thor’s hair and pretend that we’re pretty, pretty princesses!” she tickled him, grinning at his squirming laughter.

“Mommy!” he squeaked, “stop it, mommy!” he laughed, surging forward to glom onto her in a tight bear hug.

She laughed softly, “alright, little bug.”

She stood, holding him on her hip as they watched the waves crashing in front of them.

“Hey, momma,” her son murmured, head resting on her shoulder as she slowly swayed back and forth.

“Yeah, baby?” she murmured back just as soft, trying to encourage him to doze off into the nap he was no doubt heading towards.

“When you go—” he let out a big yawn, “—to Auntie Jane’s, make sure you get to be a queen. You’re more specialer than a princess, mommy.”

She squeezed him tighter, “oh, yeah?”

“Yeah,” he nuzzled into her neck, drifting off again.

A moment later, his head snapped up, eyes meeting hers with a slight panic, “You’re gonna come back, right?” he squeezed his little arms tighter around her neck, “It’s just for the weekend?”

She frowned a little at her son’s worried expression, “It’s only a few days, baby. I promise. What’s wrong?”

Jeremiah looked out at the sand by their feet, muttering under his breath.

She gently nudged his chin up with a finger, “Whisper a little louder, baby.”

He sighed, whispering slightly louder, “Last time Daddy went to Uncle Steve’s for a guy’s weekend he didn’t come home for a long time… And he wadn’t on a mission then either.”

Darcy choked out a breath, pulling her son tight to her chest, murmuring softly, “ _Oh, baby mine,”_ she swayed gently, “I’ll never leave you. I promise, okay?”

He huffed out a shaky sigh, “Okay, mommy.”

She stood there rocking him in time with the waves rolling in the vast ocean in front of her. Singing softly,

 _Baby mine, don't you cry_  
Baby mine, dry your eyes  
Rest your head close to my heart  
Never to part  
Baby of mine

 _Little one, when you play_  
Don't you mind what they say  
Let those eyes sparkle and shine  
Never a tear  
Baby of mine

 _From your head to your toes (Baby mine)_  
You're so sweet, goodness knows (Baby mine)  
You are so precious to me  
Cute as can be  
Baby of mine

_Baby mine  
Baby mine_

Soon enough he drifted off to sleep, the lullaby and soft swaying doing its trick. Not long after, Jane arrived to take her back to her place.

Darcy walked back up the beach to where Jane was waiting with Darcy’s beach bag slung over her shoulder. She saw James standing at the entrance to the parking lot, having already loaded the beach supplies into their SUV.

Jane reached out and softly squeezed her arm, “Ready?” she asked softly, not wanting to wake Jeremiah.

They made their way over to James and Darcy carefully handed her son over to his father. She leaned forward to brush her son's hair from his face, placing a soft kiss on his head.

She looked up to James, “four days,” she said.

He gave a sharp nod, blue eyes roiling with pain, sorrow, and guilt.

Pulling back, she turned to Jane, who reached out to grab her hand in an offering of strength. She watched as James carefully eased their son into his booster seat, buckling him up before moving to get in the driver’s seat. She saw as he bowed his head to the steering wheel, shoulders shaking in what she thought may have been quiet sobs.

Jane gently tugged on her hand, heading towards her own car. She saw Thor waiting by the passenger side, waiting with the doors open and Mjolnir resting loosely in his palm. As he shut the doors for the women as they climbed in the front seats, he paused to give Darcy a slight hug. With a nod towards Jane, he turned and swung Mjolnir, taking off towards the tower.

Darcy rested her head on the warm glass of the window as Jane made the drive back to her apartment.

She didn’t know what was going to happen between her and James. Her trust in him was shattered; her heart torn open in pain. Down in her toes she knew she still loved him, and she loved their son more than anything in the world. She didn’t want her sweet baby to ever worry that one of them wouldn’t come home to him. She didn’t know how she missed the fact that he was hurt so deep when James left for a time after they had lost the baby. She wanted him to have a stable, loving household. Where he knew they both loved and wanted him. She wanted to give him the home she never had. But she didn’t know if it would be together or apart from James.

But all of that was a worry for another day. Tonight, she would finally get her turn to break under the months of grief and mourning combined with the fresh pain of heartbreak and broken trust.

 

 

Tonight, it was finally her turn to fall apart.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed!
> 
> Please feed the writer,  
> Kudos, comments, subscriptions, and bookmarks are always appreciated.
> 
> Please kindly let me know of any errors/mistakes.
> 
> Nameless Angel


End file.
